WHAT HAS FEAR GOT TO DO WITH IT?
It has been a while since I’ve written on my blog. , no excuses. It’s just been a while. I could write about all the reasons I can give for not doing what I should be doing, or think I want to do. That’s a waste of time because in the end, I always feel like what’s important is that I didn’t achieve what I set out to do.
Greetings from my desk in Metairie!
I would like to talk about the writing process, I mean the lack of it. Hold on. You may read something in this that applies to you even if you are not a writer. I published my first novel, CC’S Road Home, in January 2021. I have announced, or more accurately mentioned, that I’m working on my second novel. At a panel discussion last week, I told the audience I’m working on a new adult/women’s fiction book. Although CC is a young adult novel, she will now be 10 years older, 25 to be exact, and her mother Loreen is 10 years older, or to be exact, 45. So we have two women in a book who are still trying to reconcile and here comes the grandmother, Bess, or as my readers knew her, Gran, who is the mediator.
It sounds like I should have a lot to work with. So what’s the problem? The problem is writing the rest of the book. I wrote the first four to five chapters, which is about 5000 words, submitted that to my critique group, and received some positive feedback. I reveled in that glow until I went back to my laptop two days later and thought in my head instead of “letting my fingers do the talking.” I’m back at approaching my laptop, stalking my laptop, sitting in front of my laptop, checking email, getting another cup of coffee. You get the point.
So again, what’s the problem? The answer lies in a topic few like to admit. It’s about fear, and I believe many of us shy away from talking about it. In my work, fear that the words won’t come this time, fear that I’m not really a writer. In other words, it’s the fear of not being good enough. But for me, it’s also what makes a good writer. Questioning myself on the one hand helps me to rise to a level of striving for the best in me. It can also keep me from working at that level and allowing myself to give up today before I even begin.
In other word, letting what I call the “magic” happen by just typing and letting that place inside of me tell the story. May be my head or my heart or some place deeper, but if let it, fear will be kicked to the curb if I give myself the “go ahead” command.
It may be difficult for many to admit fear plays a part in whatever our work or purpose is. It sure helps to talk about it. So much so, I’m back at working on my second novel now.
My second novel ! Wow!
LEAH ESKINE 
How exciting you are working on that second novel! I know what you mean about the fear of writing. I think the fear of “gosh, how long will this take for me to get to that completed stage” intimidates me. I think accepting that is part of the process and keep plugging along is very important but hard for me to get beyond.
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